I had become cynical about the Eurovision Song Contest. Sure I still enjoyed watching it (and listening to Graham Norton’s fantastic commentary) but I was resigned to the fact that 1) the songs I liked would never win and 2) the voting was hugely unbalanced and messy. To be fair, this had always been very obvious in previous years. The countries would always vote for their neighbors, and the Scandanavian and Balkan countries were always a massive block.
There were two major issues going into this year’s competition. The first was of course the situation between Russia and the Ukraine. Being held in Denmark meant the crowd’s loyalties would be with Ukraine (and in fact the Ukraine entry went first in the contest). There was audible booing of the Russian entry and anytime Russia received points, which made you feel bad for the two 17 year old girls chosen to represent Russia with a pretty decent song, but then also you couldn’t help feeling good that Putin heard all the booing as well.
The other big story was Austria’s entry, Conchita Wurst, who grabbed headlines for months before. Conchita is often called a drag act, but she actually is interested in offering a very astute and powerful commentary on gender and tolerance. And she can really sing! When she was included, the Ministry of Information in Belarus petitioned for Conchita to be edited out of that country’s broadcast. Of course they slung slurs. Russian officials followed suit as well. It was widely expected that the Eastern European countries would all refuse to vote for Conchita and her chances were not good. However, along with Ukraine, it was thought she might have a chance if the other countries rallied.
And not only did they rally, even some of the dismissed Eastern European block threw their votes behind Conchita.
The man does not make it easy on himself for his video shoots. Here is the heartbreaking “Gay Pirates“, the very funny “Love This“, and the poignant “Tell Me Who To Be“:
I absolutely loved this song when I first heard it in the MST3K episode of “Girl in Gold Boots” (watch it here) (read about it here). It is otherwise a completely forgotten and obscure tune from the ’50’s. Blast it and sing along.
As with previous years, the songs I liked didn’t get many votes (although Azerbaijan’s wasn’t bad), but the winner, Denmark, wasn’t as sucky as last year’s winner (a horrible Bjork wannabe from Sweden). The host, Petra Mede, was fantastic, and I thought the butterfly motif (with butterflies decorated as each country’s flag in the artist bumper) was neat. Two of the best things were definitely Petra’s witty “Swedish Smörgåsbord” song presenting the host country, and comedian/singer Sarah Dawn Finer’s inspired “The Winner Takes it All”, neither of which were in the actual competition:
Overall, Sweden’s presentation of the contest was mostly top notch and inspired (except I’m in agreement with Graham Norton, Green Room host Eric Saade was unfunny and painful to watch). Perhaps because a lot of the Eastern Bloc countries did not make the finals, the voting was a bit more balanced, although the Scandinavian bloc was very visible. But as we all know, Eurovision voting is pretty meaningless. Here were my favorites:
Krista Siegfrids – Marry Me (Finland)– My absolute favorite of the show, and the best song in my opinion, with the bonus marriage equality message at the end (which made Turkey boycott the broadcast). It did not do well in the voting (equality in general was never going to get a lot of points from, say, Azerbaijan), but was catchy enough I caught myself humming it in the shower.
Cascada – Glorious (Germany)– Everyone was complaining this sounded just like last year’s winner, but I hated last year’s winner and I loved this song. Maybe it was because this singer could actually sing. Great performance as well by Cascada. But Germany was never going to get any votes in the political voting.
Roberto Bellarosa – Love Kills (Belgium)– I didn’t particularly want to like this song. The beginning is not great, the singer is only 18, and my god, the backup dancers were horrible, but its chorus was very catchy. I’m not sure what the song’s actually about, but it was fun.
Alyona Lanskaya – Solayoh (Belarus)– This song reminded me of my favorite from last year, Eleftheria Eleftheriou’s “Aphrodisiac”. Catchy Euro dance pop, although Eleftheria had better male dancers. Another song I’m not sure what it’s about, but I enjoyed it.
Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis – Alcohol Is Free (Greece) – This is the one everyone was talking about (like the Russian grannies last year). I thought it was both a clever mash-up of traditional Greek folk songs and ska. And the band’s choreography was great.
Eythor Ingi – Ég Á Líf (Iceland)– An odd choice, but kudos for singing in Icelandic. Eythor has a great voice (and memorable hair).
Dina Garipova – What If (Russia)– Another one that was never going to win (there were actual boos in the Green Room when Russia got some high votes), but was the best of the slow songs submitted. And it didn’t rely on cheap tactics like hiring a giant (looking at you Ukraine).
Farid Mammadov – Hold Me (Azerbaijan)– Of the top performers, this one was ok, although all the above I thought were better songs. The staging with the box was odd, and actually to me looked like it was enacting a bi-sexual love triangle, but since it was close-minded Azerbaijan, I’m sure that was not the intent. The dancer in the box did well, although Farid seemed rather arrogant to me.
I was not a fan of the winner, Denmark (super annoying flute), or the other high placer, Ukraine (if you’re going to hire a giant, maybe use him for more than three seconds. And don’t sing like a Disney princess). Italy’s entry sucked as well, although it’s gone multi-platinum in Europe for some reason. And although I didn’t like it, Romania’s Cezar was sufficiently odd, that it deserves a mention. At least it did not come last! (poor Ireland). There was a lot of good will for Bonnie Tyler’s (ho-hum) song in the contest, but it couldn’t overcome the political voting against the UK.
We all know the Eurovision contest is not a contest. It’s an international variety show where acts perform and countries vote for their neighbors, unfortunately forcing great performances and songs to languish at the bottom of the ranking. This year we had the added bonus of glorifying an oppressive regime with the host country of Azerbaijan.
The stand-out for me however was Greece’s Eleftheria Eleftheriou (say that five times fast) singing “Aphrodisiac”. Dressed as Aphrodite. Before a huge half shell. It was fantastic!
The only act I wanted to physically hurt was Jedward, but that goes without saying. Congrats Sweden. You weren’t the best but hey, you passed. At least your government is not as horrible as Azerbaijan’s.
Wow, Eurovision. Just…. wow.